Misson Improbable
by artemisdevotee
Summary: Percy and Crew are 15 and up! I brought Luke back, he's okay I guess I have no idea why they're celebrating Christmas. I need ideas...


One satyr. Eight half-bloods over the age of fifteen. One house. Christmas season. Have fun!

"Um…Percy, there is a whole car of monsters on our right side. Just thought I'd let you know." Annabeth gave me a strained smile from the passenger seat. Honestly, you'd think she'd give a better warning. Maybe I'll just act calm and then she'll blow her top. Maybe…

One of the Laistrygonians grinned at me.

I floored the gas pedal.

Silena Beauregard started screaming at the top of her lungs. Conner Stoll had to make her shut up. Alma Niccolo from the Apollo cabin was stuck in the middle. Poor girl. She wasn't complaining as much as some of the others though.

"Luke! How are we doing on that side?" She yelled. Luke stuck his head out the window.

"Fine-"

"Skidding, skidding-"that was Thalia.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" at this time, Conner had almost given up and was going to just put up with Silena screaming her head off.

"ALL OF YOU SHUT UP NOW!"

Sorry Annabeth. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either…

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!"

You know, it's really hard to concentrate when there's an irritated daughter of Athena sitting next to you acting less than calm, a hysterical daughter of Aphrodite sitting somewhere behind you screaming bloody-chainsaw-murder, a cool, calm, and collected daughter of Apollo saying that we aren't going to die sitting back there as well, three panicking sons of Hermes trying to make Silena shut up, and yes, it is a combined effort, plus there's also a daughter of Zeus sitting directly behind me hanging on to the off-road handles for dear life.

"We are not going to die!"

"Shut up! Please!"

"I think we lost a tire-"

"Turn left!!!"

Oh man…headache…wait. Turn left. Okay! I turned left. The monster car whished right past us. We drove on for several more miles, just trying to cover our trail. I watched the speedometer go from one-hundred to twenty-five to fifteen. I looked out the window. We were on one of those country roads that no one ever notices, not even monsters. I pressed the brake.

"Okay." We all turned to look at Luke. He peeled his face off the window and grinned at us. "Who's up for round two?" we stared at him.

"Excuse me?" the smile slid off his face as he looked at Annabeth.

"Just kidding."

"I smell burning rubber." Alma sniffed the air and frowned.

We all got out and looked at the car. Travis was right, we had lost a tire. We had probably done something to the engine too. That was the end of that car.

"My mom is going to kill me!" I moaned.

"Yeah right. Your mom is the nicest person on the planet. She might get mad, but she doesn't stay mad." Thalia finished her speech and went to go help calm down Silena.

"She's right. If it were my dad, it might be a different story." Annabeth walked over to the car. She poked it. A huge blue cloud of smoke bloomed out of the hood. Everyone started coughing.

"Uh…not to be a nag…but I think we should get out of here." As if to emphasize his point, right after Luke stopped speaking, we heard the wail of sirens. We all walked to the nearest bus stop and climbed on the bus.

"You kids look like those delinquents from the car chase this morning." Oh great. Now even the bus driver is against us. Thalia sighed; she snapped her fingers and the guy blinked like someone pressed the rewind button on his brain. Now it was Travis and Conner's turn.

"Uh…sir, could we please go?" the bus driver had his legs across the aisle.

"Huh? Oh…you need to pay."

"Sir, we just did."

"Oh. Sorry." The driver grunted and moved aside. We all sat down in the first seats we could find. Luke pulled his coat over his face. He was easy to recognize, and plus, last year he had thrown what police thought was a grenade on to the _Princess Andromeda._ He told me later it was Greek fire, I guess he finally came to his senses even though Conner pointed out that the police and the FBI and government were all hysterical and thought it was a terrorist attack. Annabeth said that if the police caught him, he could always plead insanity. He almost punched her. Almost. We got off at the stop closest to the house we were staying at.

"What's for dinner?" I asked.

"Grover got to choose, so it's enchiladas." Replied Alma. Enchiladas. Okay. Sounds great I guess. Annabeth got the tray of enchiladas right when she got into the house. We all sat down. She started serving us, since we didn't want to fight, we rotated chores.

The problem started when Luke frowned for some odd reason.

"Are you mad at me?" asked Annabeth. Luke snapped out of it.

"Do I look mad?"

"Are you playing the Question Game?"

"Do you want this to be the Question Game?"

"Where do you want your enchilada?"

"Where are you going to put the enchilada?"

"Do you want the enchilada on your plate or in your lap?"

"Where would you rather put the enchilada?" Then Annabeth lost it. She dumped the enchilada on Luke's head.

"Where do you think I would rather put the enchilada?" she asked. I started laughing. The problem was, I had just taken a big gulp of cranberry juice, and Thalia was sitting right across from me.

Funny situation + Percy +cranberry juice + Thalia right across from him (equals) bad

(Silena figured that out. Annabeth made it into an algebra problem. She's the smart one.)

I sprayed juice all over Thalia. She got so mad that she got up, walked around the table, and poured her whole glass of juice over my head.

Okay, I'll admit it.

Girls-2

Boys-0

So that was fun. It would have escalated, but we were getting hungry, so we stopped. If only we knew the worst was yet to come. Thalia came back after washing up. I was stupid enough to joke that we were even now. She started yelling.

"YOU INSOLENT LITTLE WORM!" Naturally, I started yelling back.

"OH YEAH?"

"YEAH! I'M NOT THE CLUMSY OAF!"

"YEAH? WELL I'M NOT THE ONE WHO WAS STUCK IN A TREE FOR FIVE YEARS!"

Conner Stoll started banging his head on the table. Thalia took a new line of attack.

"censored! YOU censored censored! " I got really mad then. She turned red. The lights started flickering.

_Fwishhhhhhhhhh BOOM_

We were surrounded in complete and utter darkness.

"Nobody panic. I'm turning on the radio." Luke flipped the switch and turned the tuner to the weather station.

"We've got several downed trees in this sudden hurricane-like wind-" Luke switched the station.

"Thunder and lightning-"

"Several small tidal waves-"

"Small earthquake tremors-"

Annabeth shined a flashlight in my eyes.

"Well seaweed-brain? What have you got to say for yourself?" I gaped at her.

"Thalia was the one swearing!" I looked over at Conner. Silena was trying to make him stop before he lost anymore brain cells.

"Annabeth, you started it." Travis pointed out.

"Luke did." Annabeth retorted.

"It's all Luke's fault!" declared Alma.

"Merry Christmas Everyone." I mumbled

They ignored my sarcasm and shot murderous glances at Luke, who was calmly picking steaming enchilada out of his hair, totally ignoring them.

"Peace! Peace!" yelled Grover. "isn't this what you were trying to stop on your first quest? A war in between nature itself?"

Annabeth, Thalia, Alma and I stared at him. The room was silent (not including the sound of Conner banging his head on the table). Then Annabeth started yelling that Luke started it and Thalia was cursing in two languages (English and ancient Greek, in case you were wondering) and Luke resumed picking enchilada out of his hair. Thalia yelled a curse at me in ancient Greek (though I speak ancient Greek, I had no idea what it meant. It sounded bad. Hmm. Maybe I could use it on Clarisse). Thalia kept on cursing. Wow. Happy Christmas.

Suddenly I heard an odd squelching sound, but no one else noticed. Except maybe for Conner. I turned to see Conner. He had begun to hit his head on his plate.

_Crack!_

Everyone stopped for approximately, umm, half a second, and they stared at Conner bang his head on the remains of a plate.

"I'll get a new plate" said Annabeth, rolling her eyes. "This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't started fighting!" yelled Alma.

"AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!" screeched Thalia.

"dude, calm…" said Grover.

Luke was picking enchilada out of his hair.

"Luke started it!! Luke started it!!" yelled Alma at a higher pitch than my fire alarm.

Annabeth glared at Luke, and so did Thalia.

Luke was picking enchilada out of his hair and putting it on his plate.

Annabeth walked up to him, picked up his plate, and dumped everything on it on his head. He blinked, then, quick as lightning, his arm shot out, grabbed his orange juice and poured it on Annabeth's head. Then Conner actually stopped banging his head on the table to yell

"Food fight!" and throw the mush that remained of his dinner at Alma, knowing she would scream. Sure enough, she did. Then she grabbed her enchilada and hurled it at Conner, who dodged nimbly. Then somehow something hit Thalia and she started throwing enchiladas off the platter, which had been left on the table. Luke and Annabeth still were dumping whatever they could get their hands on on each other's heads. Suddenly something hit me on the head.

"Hey, who's throwing plastic cups?" nobody answered, and unfortunately that question had attracted attention on me and I was having to dodge flying enchiladas. At least Thalia wasn't saying swear words anymore, though I think she already earned several lumps of coal. This reminds me, we should start giving Christmas presents soon. I wonder, if I showed my receipt to the store manager, maybe he would let me exchange everything for lumps of coal…

"OW! If you're going to throw pudding, at least take it out of the bowl!!!!!" I was forced back into the fight when I got splattered with pudding. I responded by throwing my enchilada at Thalia, who hadn't seen it coming. She answered with a "AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" which overheated the light bulbs and blew them up. We stood there in the dark, silent (other than the sound of juice dripping on the floor, and the fizzing that the oven made. wait a second… since when does the oven fizz?). Suddenly Grover said

"don't you think it smells funny? I mean, other than the enchilada – mixed – with – juice – and – pudding smell?"

"uh oh", I said.

"Uh oh"... "Monsters?" whispered Conner,

"Monsters." Confirmed Thalia.


End file.
